Sisters-in-law Finis

Gone. All Gone. The sisters-in-law are all gone. Take a deep breath, let it out slowly...relax. Ahhhh... So now comes the aftermath.

wife: "Did you eat all the popcorn?"
me: "No....wasn't me."

wife, later: "I can't find the fig newts or the vanilla wafers, do you know where they are?"
me: "I didn't eat them, but I think I know who did."

wife, even later: "I won't be mad, but I just want to know, did you eat up all the peanut butter?"
me: "Nope, not me."

daughter: "Daddy, I want some teddy bears." (in reference to teddy graham cookies)
me: "Well I'm looking for them, I can't find them. Where are they? Hey, I think Colleen ate them all."
daughter: "Colleen ate my teddy bears!" (in a very sad two-year-old voice)

dauther, later to my wife: "Mommy, Colleen ate all my teddy bears!"

So, each day that passes we notice more and more food that has completely disappeared. And I don't mean the apples or bananas we keep on the counter...I don't mean the Special K, or the broccoli or lettuce or squash. I mean the junk food...stuff I forgot we even had but my pregnant wife knew about.

But on the plus side, I can now go into any room in my house at any time I want, and have no fear of getting assigned some task or having someone start telling me about a black and white movie they saw on the late show in 1983. Gone are the days of slinking silently from place to place, hoping to stay unnoticed...gone are the days of hearing footsteps, and doors opening, and having to run and hide in the deep recesses that only I know of.

After all, the back of a man's closet hiding behind the clothes with the lights off is his castle.