How did I get so lost?

At 43, one would assume to know his/her self pretty well. I am always amazed that upon occasion I discover something new. Somethings are simple like finally aquiring the taste for a hated vegetable or stumbling upon a new hobby. Other things are more complicated and weird like developing a taste for unusual sex or finding out that you don't really like people. I am talking hypothetically of course..wink. Are these things that present themselves as new, ...really new? Or are they just the sum of my experiences catching up with me? 99.9% percent of the time, I know how I will act in most situations. I know what makes me mad. I know what makes me cry. I can recognize situations that will induce certain emotions and choose to avoid or embrace them. More often than not, I am surprised at how little I have really changed in my core. I have always been hyper-sensitive, prone to bouts of depression, and had a penchant for silly humor. I think by the time I turned 15 (or more likely even earlier) my die had been cast and my mold set hard. Is it even possible to change a life set in stone? I guess the whole psycology industry is based on the premise that you can change and I agree...with a caveat. Changing is a lifetime battle. You have to recognize your triggers, avoid and learn to bail out of certain situations and probably most importantly learn to forgive yourself when you fail...and you will fail a lot. I still love, hurt and laugh much the same as I did in High School. I like to think that I have had time to polish off a rough edge or two but I know there are still bristles in the places where I do not want to look. I really could not tell you if I am a better person now or was a better person then. I guess it all depends on what facet of myself we happen to be talking about. Can we ever really grow up and what in the hell does that mean anyway? Is it paying bills, raising babies and TCB baby (taking care of business)? Maybe it is taking responsibility for your own happiness without treading on the happiness of others. All I know is that in a few minutes I will be driving home in the dark with a head full of worries and wondering how I got to this very moment. How did I get so lost?