Sisters-in-law Act 5 Scene 1

Stealth.

That is the watchword.

I come home, open the garage door and...no one is there.

I know they must have heard the garage door opening. So. They know I'm here. That is part of the game.

Instantly, I go into a kung-fu crouch. I warily look around, not making a sound. Silently I glide across the floor. I come to the living room...and peek around the corner. Still no one. Not a sound.

I do a cartwheel, a backflip, and a series of high-flying karate moves across the room and position myself behind the sofa, all without making a sound except for the occasional swish-swish-swish. Anyone watching would have seen only a non-distinct blur. I peek around the side....still, no one. They must be upstairs.
I gingerly ascend the steps...one...at...a...time. Oh so cautiously.

At the top I can hear voices. It's late in the evening, my wife is in my daughter's room, putting her to bed already. Then I hear it. Tapping....no...typing! Coming from the office.

The office is right above the garage, so she DOES know I'm here. And yet I remain unmolested. So, THAT's how she wants to play it. I swiftly move to the master bedroom door, quietly open it, and I'm in!! aahhh...

For a moment I feel I've won the battle, but I know her. I know it's never over. I move to the bed and sit on the edge, probably for too long. Your losing your nerve, boy. You need to stay more alert! You've become too soft. Too comfortable. Remember your training!

And there it is! The sound of a distant door opening. I instantly realize I can hear my wife's voice in the baby monitor, so it's NOT HER!! IT'S THE OTHER ONE!!!

In way too much of a panic I jump up and race to the door of the master bath! My blood is pumping, I'm losing my grip. I felt like I was in a horror movie! If someone had grabbed me at that moment I would have screamed like a woman. I reach the door and open it. Oh No! I opened it too hard, and the air displacement in the room made the bedroom door jiggle...loudly!

I enter the master bath, then into the toilet which has it's own door. As I sit there, wondering what her next move will be, I almost expect a shadow to flit across the light coming in from under the door. I watch it...watch it...nothing.

After a few minutes I emerge, but not all at once. I silently, gently open the door and look out with one eye into the main area of the master bath. No one. So far so good.

I wash my hands, and then in a state of euphoria for my good luck so far, I proceed to open the door to the bedroom, but THERE SHE IS!!!!!! AAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!!

Yes, she was in the bedroom, waiting for me to come out. I was done for.

End game.