Dumbass Donkeywagon

Names for people in front of me/that cut diagonally across crowded parking lots at 40mph/drive towards you with their bright lights on.Cross six lanes of the highway in less than 100 feet,no turn signal etc.. You know the type
1) Shitass{A term my old man used for everyone when he was drunk}
2)Jughead{Reserved especially for old men in hats who drive 10mph slower than the speed limit, note the ears that are batwinged on the senoir driver> I don't have anything against older drivers, heck my uncle is 85 and he will pass you on Hwy 85 while smoking a cigar}
3)Shitsucker{Vile but decsriptive,best used when the windows are down and they are calling out explicatives to you, try it sometime and watch their expression when they contemplate your appropriate defintion of their daily activity}
4) Cartoon Carnival{This is a group of screw-ups working as a team to delay the rest of us who have jobs or places to be. It's like when co-dependents meet, "well ,we were both pumping gas and saw each ,well ,and we both found out that we both liked the same kind of music and that he's an alcoholic(unlikely to be admitted until after the divorce or when the cops show up for that DUI) and I 'm looking for a boy trapped in a man's body , he gets drunk and I drive him around and clean up his puke , and he's good enough to get sober up for two hours on sunday when my parents visit,God I love him,sniff.. Ladies, when he gets drunk once a month to the point you have to take care of him, congratulations ,you're co-dependent, and guess what, if you're young, you'll be doing it for the rest of your life, enjoy! Bet your mom did, just look how her life turned out, see how happy she is.Just think of all those silly opportunities she passed up to look after some overgrown boy, and then it all came together. ... Or hey, how about that step-dad, mommy would never bring a bad man around, you just don't want mommy to be happy, go stay with your father then. Life is cumalative, we are made up of even the expedient choices we make now and they all add up.That will be you in the future .BEHOLD AND BE BEDAZZLED. The nice thing about this though, the faces will change, but you will not. you'll just get older and the men will just get slacker and eventually more impotent. I know women in their 30's so embittered by their choices that they can kill grass just by walking barefoot.}
5)Fuckstick{Punk-ass kid drivers.Period}
6)Dumbass Donkeywagon{That person in front of you in an ugly,smoking peice of crap that weaves,hits their brakes for no reason,slows up and then speeds up for a reason known only to their vicadin/reidilin/alcohol/manic depressive/nuerotic/pedophiliac/necrotic/syphilatic addled brain.This person will get on a two lane highway and run parallel to a stinking garbage hauling trailer or a gravel throwing asphalt truck for 30 miles oblivious to the 10 mile car chain behind them.}The city of Miami-Dade County has over 113,976 legally taged Dumbass Donkeywagons registered as such at the DMV.I have proposed donating a snow-plow and a M1 abrams tank to constantly drive both high speed lanes in all major citie's highways. The job of these teams would be ram off the road any vehicle moving slower than 60mph in non-rush hour conditions. A few would be sacrificed to less traffic congestion.But the benefits would be decreased stress levels in all commuters, thus improving the quality of life for them and adding years of productive lifespan.A FAIR TRADE IN ANYONES BOOK>