Surly

Normally the sight of naked women does not fill me with anger, unless the dancer is wearing a fuzzy Gilligan's hat (which understandably would make anyone angry). Last Saturday night found my friend and I at what has turned out to be a regular haunt of ours: El Potro Rosado. Much to our displeasure, we found that our usual vantage point and favorite table was occupied by no less than three vaqueros. Reluctantly we inserted ourselves into the Potros population and found ourselves jammed in a sea of tables. Fortunately for us, one of the best waitresses in the establishment was working our table and we were nursing on beer and citrus flavored vodka before you could say “table dance”. One of the dancers at El Potro is a friend of ours and joined us at the table for free drinks and to vent about how the holidays are especially hard on lesbian relationships.
It is at this time that I would like to take a minute to talk about our friends butt. Let's call her Allure. To put it in plain English Allure's butt is a buffet that would never have to be re-filled. She makes Jennifer Lopez look flat. If Allure's butt were a catcher's mask, I would never take it off.
Ok, back to the evening. In general the place was dead and blaring way too much urban (and that is putting it nicely) music for my taste. My friend, (let's call him Gunter) was on a mission to get the little blonde shooter girls phone number. Unfortunately, she was working the other side of the room, and it ended up taking most of the night for her to work her way around to our side of the main stage. Before the night was out I had sacrificed over a hundred bucks to surgically enhanced breasts and forced conversation. On the way home Gunter threw a few Krystal burgers at me to help my financial insolvency go down better. Gunter was happy though, the shooter girl had scrawled her phone number on a cocktail napkin, and visions of sugar butts were dancing in his head. I managed to get home just in time to have my girlfriend attack me verbally regarding the quality of my cat shit scooping abilities. She went to bed hating me and I ended up sharing the tiniest sliver of bed with my fat house cat. Good times.