Yesterday on the way home, I got a call from my good friend rbutler. He had been riding around with Elle (his friend/part-time employee), listening to Nick Drake and visiting job sites. Elle had been nursing a bottle of Jack Daniels and was feeling mighty good when rbutler handed her the phone to talk to me. The effects of the JD magnified her already larger than life personality and I could not help but feel small in its presence. My end of the conversation just seemed so lame compared to hers. Her energy is just so alive and dangerous. My own life force seems like milk toast in comparison. She must think that I am so square. With every utterance I reveal my stiffness and inability to relax and enjoy life. I don't think that Queen Victoria had a stick up her ass as big as I do. The funny part is that I actually consider myself to be a laid back relatively cool person. It is only when compared with people that have a real love of life that my rigidity is made so obvious. My English heritage must have affected me more than I realize. I constantly am holding back on the reigns of my true feelings. I guard my reserve with such a ferocity that it makes relaxing impossible. Maybe that is why I like to drink. It gets mighty tiresome holding the wolves at bay. Sometimes I need to let a few through, just to ease up on the pressure against the door.
2 comments:
Yes larger than life , have you ever shopped at Bannana Republic Lenox Mall with a lit, endowed blonde, calling for a fag to help me coordinate my shirt and pants, funny,but she never seems to offend them.Instead she made friends and they talked about the sad fate of gay men and bi-sexual women while I bolted to Starbuck 's for coffee to keep me going and and keep her moving.
Yes and ELLE wants you to come to her Birthday fling at Rosados Del Potro to enjoy the weirdness and depravity.
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