RButler VS. The World

Well, I have managed to make it two days without beer. Doesn't seem like allot of time, but I believe Einstein was right when he came up with the formula: ( time - beer ) = ( a long time ). Also one of the side effects of not drinking is having dreams. Sure dreams are fun when you are in a threesome with Mary Ann from Gilligan's ( not the dancer ) Island and a young Barbara Eden, but dreams can be hell too. Take for instance my dream last night. I was stuck in some 1920's Avante Garde German film about witches. I spent most of the night in angular rooms talking to dwarfs and wondering why the world had turned black and fuzzy. The huge Indian meal that I had the night before must have contributed to the craziness of my dream. I blame the Cardomon seeds and the Cumin powder especially. Don't ask me why, those spices just seem sneaky. After a night of being chased by witches I was relieved that my aching bladder awoke me to another day.
There is allot to be said for just waking up and being able to step out into the day. Sometimes I feel like I am a king, just because the sun is coming through the car window on my face and the new Mark Knopfler CD is cranking in the stereo. I don't drink coffee, so I usually have a Homer Simpson-sized Diet Coke in the morning to put a little go-go in me mojo. It is amazing how good that Diet Coke can make me feel. I am guessing that there is crack in it or at least some good Glasgow quality H.
Things have been unsettling at the old homestead lately. My sometimes better-half/sometimes disciplinarian Dolly has been sick with an ungodly croupy cough that has her hacking phlem into a rag for the better part of the night. If you want to see the worst of someone, deprive them of sleep. They will hate you like the pope hates sin. I have had the misfortune of being an easy target for Dolly and she has treated me like the proverbial red headed step child. I have more patience than most but sometimes I wonder if there is not a better life for me out there. I warned her not to hook up with me in the first place. Over the years I have left a path strewn with the bodies of broken relationships. Sooner or later I make them all crazy. It is just a fact. Unless they are all crazy to begin with and I just know how to coax it out of them.
Work has not been much better than home, although I do have a few friends here. The IT business that they crammed down our throats during the 90's is going to hell in a handbasket. So far I have survived over 5 layoffs at my company and am expecting more. They have taken my hard earned title, and cut my pay and benefits, all while telling me how lucky I am to have a job period. Well, they are right in a way. I am not cutting onions at the Varsity or being a grunt on my father's tree removal crew. But for some reason I still do not feel lucky. Lucky is winning the lottery. Lucky is meeting a woman that loves to give head. Lucky, is getting change for a hundred when you gave 'em a twenty. Kissing someone's ass everyday while your soul aches is not lucky.
Lately I have been living through the life of my friend and fellow contributor rbutler. His life seems so much more interesting than mine, not to mention that he makes a shit pot load more money than me. He has his own business and has to hussle a helluva site more than I do, but somehow I think that he has allot more fun too. Everyday is an adventure to him. Who is going to show up for work today ? Will I get a check from those people that won't pay me ? Will my mother ugly up my beautiful house with Hummel figures from Target ? Don't get me wrong, I know that he busts his ass and probable worries allot more than I do about keeping the work coming in. I guess that it is a trade off really: security v.s. freedom . But the reality of the situation is that we are never secure; we lie to ourselves and enter a state of denial to ease the passing of our boring lives. I bet those people that worked at my establishment for 26-30 years felt secure right up to the day that they came in to find a fresh new cardboard box waiting for them in their cube. Bottom line is that somehow I get power from knowing that RButler is out kicking the world's ass everyday and manages to sneak in some fun too.